As a mom and grandma I can think of the following aspects that worked. I cannot suggest as each one is unique:

Kids model what we do not what we say.

Our intentions need not mean the same way to them as to us.

All or nothing is not good. What I mean is:
Not to take the entire blame or not onus on us or our kids. In some events, we may play our role well to work in collaboration with our kids. In some events they may play their role better to achieve the end result.

They are exposed to different environments than us both in online and physical world.

Both parents and kids are learning to progress, to fail, to relearn